reboot: Train-ed misery in the UK

We would report 10 years on, contrary to what any kitchen sink drama claims, the mental imprint of British resilience in the face of life’s misery, doesn’t start at home watching Coronation Street or EastEnders but at the gates of the first train station, you enter as a child.

As foreigner, rebel against this precept at your own risk of being labeled ‘suspicious’ and non-British, the more so, if you happen to speak with an accent, wear a beard or turban.

Within the ‘walled gardens’ of the commuter class, what’s changed in the last 10 years is:

1. the level of suspicion, against the ‘unknown’ person next to you, who may be handling a smartphone in annoying ways to look at things you don’t understand or despise,
2. the incredible fares and fines – soon to resemble the price of a theatre ticket, so this may be declared by some an immersive performance we are part of, and
3. a bigger number of East Europeans found their way into second-class jobs inside the British Rail (BR), after they’ve proven impervious worthy to inflicting British misery on commuters when asked, a quality most didn’t possess.

BR is regularly reinforcing its own ‘walled garden’ by means of subjugating its power base when they least expect it, demanding complicit sheep-like behaviour and ultimately full abandon, from the commuter class, to do their best to carry on with life inside a train station using mobile connectivity.

You may be very late for your daughter’s 18th but you can Skype, fb or WhatsApp it… so you have options, and if you believe the ads you are there, not on a wet and cold train platform, with a BR second-class employee telling you, he wasn’t told when the train will come next!

:::: WE WOULD REPORT 10 YRS ago ::::

British Rail (BR) and London Underground (LU) have both been using established sitcom writers, we cannot name, to impress upon the general public their misery for commuters is, in fact, a reality show taht will stream live on the internet, eventually, not just on the 6 o’clock news.

For now, second-class migrants remain still undesirable in the UK because they might interfere with the daily ‘occurrance’ of this prime-time reality show for commuters. Unaware of possible dramatic implications and complications, ie. by complaining trains work better in former communist countries or at the opposite end, by improving BR and LU services as employees; migrants could spoil the ‘suspension of disbelief’ – a version of common sense – so many British commuters rely on strongly, and the BBC News has carefully built up over the years.

We were told by a source we cannot name that: “…for the British ‘Humpty Dumpty’ psyche, dropping even by accident the ‘suspension of disbelief’ should prove a change too far to take in more so in the light of austerity. Should any changes happen sooner rather than later, commuters could be forever dumbfounded getting home relaxed on time for dinner and what it might lead up to, and by such means traumatised.”

As seen the same ‘psyche’ needed more than 30 years previously, to officially acknowledge that buses and trains are operated by West and East Indies migrants and not the BBC’s ‘On the Buses’ dads.